stepping forward out into the day;

[dawnwardroad]

[Post-WTL fic, because I need closure.]

Riku wakes up on the grass. His mind feels hazy, like he got knocked out by a heavy blow to the head. This is peculiar because the last thing he remembers is going to sleep in his house, in the Meadous, under a little hill.

Someone is yelling his name. It sounds like Kairi, his brain suggests vaguely. It is, in fact, Kairi.

“Sora, come out here, it’s Riku!” there are footsteps on grass now, thumping across the ground. A pair of footsteps. Sora must have been nearby to begin with. He sits up, blinking blearily at the sight of a world he’s fairly sure he’s never seen. There are evergreen trees and the sky reminds him of Twilight Town but with more night above and so, so many twinkling stars. Kairi and Sora are staring at him with surprise and worry on their faces.

He’s certain this must be a dream. He only sees them anymore when he’s dreaming. But his head still feels fuzzy and he feels too aware of himself to be asleep. “You’re back,” Kairi says, relief in her voice. Sora still looks worried. “We were afraid you ran off again,” he says. “I...” Riku starts to speak, but runs out of words to put after the initial I and stops. He’s not asleep. He’s not in the Meadous at all. It takes a moment to process this.

When he doesn’t pick up the sentence, Kairi fills in the silence with tentative words. “You’ve been gone for a week, and... well, we thought at first you’d gone away again,” she carefully avoids the phrase run away because he ran from her and Sora once but Riku hates the implication of being a coward, even when it’s true. ”But Master Yen Sid said you weren’t in the collected worlds at all. He said you seemed to have vanished from the Realm of Light altogether.” The worry is back in her face and her tone.

“I,” Riku tries again, this time with slightly more of a plan, “I’ve only been gone a week?” he says incredulously. “That’s not... How old are you?” he looks from Kairi to Sora. They exchange looks, and Sora says “Sixteen?” as if the question was What’s fifteen plus one?

Riku shakes his head. That can’t be right. This is a dream. But in dreams they’re happy and not worried, there’s no context, everything is just comforting and warm and missing pieces at the edges which is why he never looks too close. Sora and Kairi are exchanging serious looks again. Kairi comes closer, sits down on the grass, and takes a soft tone.

“What happened?” she asks, like Riku is something fragile that might break if you speak in too strong a voice. He’s not sure if he appreciates it or finds it patronizing. Sora follows her lead, sitting down next to them. “Yeah, were’d you go?”

Riku takes a deep breath.

He tells them about finding the SBURB discs on the doorstep to the mansion in Twilight Town. He has to fill them in on the timing, because he didn’t leave a week ago from either of their points of view. “So... it was when I was still asleep in that pod thing, right?” Sora asks. “Yeah,” Riku says, “You’d only been asleep for... maybe a month.”

He continues telling them about the Medium, about the Land of Seas and Gloom. He tells them about all the people he met- Sirius and Yuna and Remus and Cassandra- about how Sora and Kairi themselves appeared, then vanished. He tells the parts about the Horrorterrors with some difficulty, and they can tell it’s something he’s still shouldering the burden of. He tells them about more people- about Ienzo and Bertie- and about Sora and Kairi’s second appearance and disappearance. He even tells them about dying- not out of transparency, but because it tumbles out before he can think not to mention it. All three of them hear his voice crack when he gets to the day he noticed Kairi was gone again.

Riku has to pause several times to collect thoughts before detailing them aloud. He tells them about the final battle, about waking up in the Meadous, and carefully glosses over how alone he had felt after SBURB, but they know anyway.

“...Anyway. I went to bed last night, and that’s... that’s the last thing I can remember.” It’s gotten dramatically darker over the past hour or two, as the night sky overtakes most of the glowing yellow from this world’s horizon. Crickets chirp and the air is warm and damp like a July evening. It must be summer, he thinks. Despite the whirlwind of just going over everything in the last three years, Riku feels surprisingly grounded in this moment.

“So... how old does that make you?” Sora asks gracelessly, because that’s the most important thing on his mind right now. Gotta know where the score is. “Nineteen,” Riku answers, and smiles for the first time when Sora protests with a “Whaaaat?!”

“Well, you don’t look any older,” Kairi supplies helpfully. “You were almost seventeen when we last saw you, and you look about the same.” Riku frowns, but not for the reason Kairi intended. “When you last saw me... a week ago, right? So then... from your point of view, I’ve been here all along?” She shakes her head, but Sora beats her to the punch. “Not all along,” he says. “After I woke up, I spent like forever looking for you. Finally tracked you down, though!” He’s grinning with his hands behind his head, like it was all a big game of tag and now the score is 1-0.

“We all fought the rest of the Organization together,” Kairi says. “Well, we fought Xemnas together, anyway. You two wouldn’t let me fight the other guys,” she adds in an impatient tone. Riku’s eyebrows go up. “All three of us fought him?” He’s never seen Xemnas, but he knows you don’t get to be in charge of Organization XIII without being a serious threat. “Yep, all of us!” Sora’s grinning again, but it changes to a dramatic storytelling expression the next instant. “You should have seen us, I mean, you did, but, you should remember having seen us, we were awesome! And Kairi-” He cuts off there, staring at her with a mix of admiration and a little awe, even now. She grins, shrugs, and plays with her hair a little in sheepish flattery.

Eventually the consensus is reached that they should head inside, mostly because Sora’s stomach gives a very loud protest. “Wait till everyone hears that you’re back!” Sora says, bounding up the stairs three at a time. Riku forces a small smile, unsure how glad they’ll actually be. He hasn’t seen Donald and Goofy since Hollow Bastion all those years ago, and besides that- he can’t shake the feeling he had with Kairi in SBURB, that he’s not the right Riku. Like he’s filling shoes that belong to someone else. He wonders if this is how the replica felt, and immediately feels worse. Kairi hangs back with him when she notices he’s folded in on himself again.

“Hey,” she says, and this time the softer voice is a comfort for sure. “It’s okay. You’ve been through a lot, but it’s okay, we’re here with you and we’ll figure things out together, alright?” He takes a deep breath, swallows, and nods.

To his surprise, everyone upstairs is both excited and relieved to see him. The only reaction he can understand is Mickey’s, but he’s glad for all of their acceptance. He gets the feeling they can tell he’s a little overwhelmed, though. Between Sora and Kairi, they manage to give a more basic and vague accound of what’s happened, and even Yen Sid can’t account for exactly why the timing doesn’t line up. He doesn’t sounds particularly worried though, and moves on to brief Riku on the more pressing matter of Xehanort’s return, and the impending exam that Riku is absolutely sure he did not study for and is in no way prepared for. Sora chimes in that it’s alright, he hasn’t studied either, but then, he never studies for anything.

After dinner, the three of them go back to what Riku assumes is either Sora or Kairi’s bedroom in the tower. Sora and Kairi take turns explaining to him what he’s missed over the last- two years? three?- although Sora takes the lead on most of the exciting parts. When they’re all yawning too much to finish sentences anymore, Kairi kicks them out so she can change into her pajamas, and then trades with them as they do the same. Riku catches his face in the mirror for the first time and looks hard. He looks... like he always has. His hair is the same length it was, but he can’t help but feel like he looks a little younger, maybe. Sora and Kairi catch him staring and decide pulling him out of his thoughts is better done sooner than later. “Am I going to have to tickle you to keep you from brooding in the mirror?” Kairi teases, hands on her hips. “Wh- I’m not ticklish,” Riku insists, but she rolls her eyes and Sora grins. “Aw c’mon, you don’t think we’ve forgotten about that spot right under your ribs, do you? Right h-” Sora reaches for him, but Riku squirms out of the way just in time. “Cut it out!” He’d try to stay straight-faced but they’re already laughing, and he can’t help smiling, too.

A silence falls again, and Kairi says “Hey... do you guys think... I mean, would it be weird if we, um...” She trails off, but Sora picks right up after her. “Slept in the same bed tonight?” She nods, and Riku finds himself letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He nods, because that’s exactly what he wants, but could never suggest. “All right! Sleepover time! Man, we haven’t done this in forever!” Sora bounds across the bed to grab the fluffiest of the pillows, laying claim to it irrevocably. Until it gets mixed up with everyone else’s pillows, anyway. Kairi pulls Riku along by the wrist and flops onto the bed. He finds himself in the middle and wonders if they did this on purpose to make sure he doesn’t run off again. It’s absolutely okay with him.

Once Sora stops moving around and they all settle in under the covers, Riku speaks in a quiet, careful voice. He starts one of those abandoned “I...” sentences again, but pushes forward before losing his nerve. “I’ve really... missed you guys.” Suddenly there’s emotion welling up in him that he didn’t ask for and they must know, because at the same time Kairi and Sora grab his hands and hold tight. “We know,” Kairi says. “We aren’t leaving you again, promise,” Sora says. Riku squeezes their hands, closes his eyes, and tries to relax and wait for sleep.

He wakes up the next morning with Kairi curled up against his chest and Sora pressed against his back and in the early morning light he knows this is the happiest he’s been in three very long years.